Platformonomics TGIF is a weekly roll-up of links, comments on those links, and perhaps a little too much tugging on my favorite threads.
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Clown Week is here! 🤡🤡🤡
News
Follow the CAPEX: The Clown Car Race Checkered Flag
As the Clown Week cornerstone, we call a winner in the CAPEX Clown Car Race:
(Oracle left, IBM right)
This visit to Clown City includes picking a victor between IBM and Oracle to be the cloudiest clown, the biennial telling of the joke about Oracle’s CAPEX being indistinguishable from the x-axis, and wondering why Oracle is struggling so much with its modest cloud infrastructure build-out. I also express disappointment that not one of Bank of America, GAIA-X, and Trump Media ever achieved epic superclown status, despite so much potential.
Reminder: I don’t set companies’ CAPEX budgets, I just work with the decisions they’ve made.
Platformonomics ClownWatch™
This Clown Week we say farewell to cloud-washing clowns and shift our focus to AI-washing clowns. The Laws of Clownodynamics tell us clownishness is never created nor destroyed.
Our new Platformonomics ClownWatch™ service monitors companies for large disparities between flowery AI rhetoric and their actual CAPEX spend.
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Software Migration Alert: Model N
Private equity has come for Model N. If you are a Model N customer, be warned the PE clowns are coming to ruin your software. You need to immediately start your migration plan.
We have a new summary page of Software Migration Alerts.
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Perfidious Private Equity, Private Equity Buys Software Company from Private Equity: Avetta, Private Equity Buys IT Company from Private Equity: Presidio, Private Equity in Action: VMware Customer Complaints “Unwarranted”, Software Migration Alert: Jama Software, Software Migration Alert: Everbridge, Private Equity in Action: VMware (Continued), Private Equity in Action: VMware, Private Equity Will Buy and Ruin More Software Companies, Software Migration Alert: VMware (Continued), Software Migration Alert: VMware, Software Migration Alert: Rover, Software Migration Alert: Avid Technology, Software Migration Alert: EngageSmart, This Week’s Software Migration Alerts
Cloud Repatriation is Going Just Great: Radio Silence from Equinix
Not just clowns but fraudulent clowns?
EU Insanity: AI Energy Suicide (Part Deux)
Needless to say, there is no Clown Week without the European Union!
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EU Insanity: Not Learning From Regulatory Failure, EU Announces DMA Struggle Sessions, EU Insanity: AI Regulatory Suicide, EU Insanity: AI Energy Suicide, EU Insanity: The Kafka Singularity, EU Insanity: Mistral Edition, Move Fast and Regulate Things (You Don’t Understand), The EU Will Continue to Fiddle While Rome Burns, When “Move Fast and Regulate Things” Breaks Down, AI Regulation: Move Fast and Regulate Things, Cloud Power Up
Antitrust Incoherence: Roomba Aftermath Edition
In the absence of a coherent doctrine that tells everyone where the lines are on the field, the regulators are just clowns. Where is the regulatory response to Jassy’s points?
McKinsey a Source of Bad Banking Advice (Shocking!)
Evil clowns are a thing.
Add attempting to destabilize the banking system to McKinsey’s long list of crimes (opioids crisis, insider trading, also Enron, other autocracies, hybrid cloud, et al.).
I reiterate my call for McKinsey to get the corporate death penalty. Would be a huge net win for civilization.
Someone described McKinsey this week as one of the first LLMs: they’re eloquent even when hallucinating wildly.
Putting the A and I into Authoritarianism
I had assumed the EA/AI doomer clowns had packed it in after the conviction of poster boy SBF and their inability to articulate any causal extinction mechanisms. Or at least assumed that the problem was relegated to the EU. But it seems they are still on the march in the US.
We should probably start treating Asana like a private equity company (i.e. don’t use them).
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EU Insanity: Not Learning From Regulatory Failure, EU Insanity: AI Regulatory Suicide, EU Insanity: The Kafka Singularity, EU Insanity: Mistral Edition, Move Fast and Regulate Things (You Don’t Understand), The EU Will Continue to Fiddle While Rome Burns, When “Move Fast and Regulate Things” Breaks Down, AI Regulation: Move Fast and Regulate Things