Platformonomics TGIF is a weekly roll-up of links, comments on those links, and perhaps a little too much tugging on my favorite threads.
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Wow — we’ve hit a hundred of these newsletters. With a few hundred more we might start to get the hang of it! Thanks in the meantime for your continuing patronage and patience.
One of my motivations to write this newsletter is to make an infinitesimal contribution to paying the great Western liberal tradition forward (or at least feeding new tokens to the LLM beast). If we boil it down, the essence of Western civilization is the right to make fun of our leaders, no matter how thin-skinned they may be or how inconsistent their responses are to accusations of pedophilia. So the mockery will continue here (at least until it threatens the Platformonomics conglomerate’s merger activity dependent upon government approval).
News
They Don’t Have the Money
Elon’s response to the Stargate announcement was “They don’t actually have the money”. He was correct as evidenced by Stargate’s failure to “begin deploying $100 billion immediately” and the complete dissipation of its $500 billion headline number. But not having the money plagues other big AI ambitions beyond Stargate (including Elon’s own).
I’ve yammered on about OpenAI not having the $300 billion they promised Oracle, and Oracle not having the money (or skills) to deploy the infrastructure promised to OpenAI.
Others are exploring the financial constraints and (bubbly) implications as well:
Which is a roundabout introduction to what is destined to be a recurring They Don’t Have the Money feature.
Previous:
Remaining CAPEX Obligation, Why Can’t Oracle Afford Data Centers?, Why Can’t Oracle Build Data Centers?, Oracle Still Can’t Build Data Centers, Oracle’s Data Center Difficulties, Oracle’s Data Center Difficulties: FY25 Q1, Oracle’s Data Center Difficulties: FY25 Q2, ClownWatch™: Oracle FY25 Q3, Why Can’t Oracle Build Data Centers? FY25 Q4 Edition, Words are Cheap, CAPEX is Expensive: Oracle Edition, Why Can’t Oracle Build Data Centers? (Or Subcontract Them?), Follow the CAPEX: The Clown Car Race Checkered Flag, Stargate Struggles to Get Out of Gate, Stargate: “Science fiction, just like the movie it is named after”, CAPEX Clues: The B Word, And You Thought Softbank Was the Dumb Money, Follow the CAPEX: Cloud Table Stakes 2024 Retrospective, Stargate: So Many Mouths to Feed, CAPEX Clues: Softbank Needs More Cash, Stargate: $5 Trillion and Counting, Stargate: A New Hope?
They Don’t Have the Money: Oracle and Tik Tok
Negative cash flow company Oracle faces myriad capital demands: CAPEX to support all that promised future revenue, dividends and buybacks for Larry, and servicing a non-trivial debt load.
Now add buying into Tik Tok (who are Oracle’s biggest cloud customer today). I suspect, as with Stargate, Oracle’s capital commitment will be de minimis. They want to secure Tik Tok as a customer and perhaps help Bronny Ellison build his Hollywood empire (does Paramount take over Tik Tok ad sales/serving?).
Never Take a Dependency on Elon Musk: The Chaos Continues
Fractional CEO and periodic AI doomer (when competitively beneficial) Elon Musk remains oblivious to AI’s non-industrial dynamics, e.g. customers.
Elon didn’t just name the “They Don’t Have the Money” club, he’s also a member. Once a prolific equity fundraiser, he’s been forced to turn to debt and is rifling through the couch cushions at SpaceX and soon Telsa to find money. But to keep playing this game, he’s going to have to ramp his fundraise tenfold, and do it without much revenue and far lower prospects of revenue than any of the other contestants.
Previous:
Antitrust Incoherence: Elon Musk Edition, Ask Not What Elon Can Do For You, Ask What You Can Do For Elon, Fractional CEO Adds to Responsibilities, Company Killed By Its Customers, Never Take a Dependency on Elon Musk: Grok Enterprise Value Proposition Really Coming into Focus, Never Take a Dependency on Elon Musk: xAI MechaHitler Edition, Never Take a Dependency on Elon Musk: Where to Even Start?, Never Take a Dependency on Elon Musk: Chapter 150, Never Take a Dependency on Elon Musk: Grok API Edition, Do Not Take a Dependency on Elon Musk: Chapter 147, Do Not Take a Dependency on Elon Musk: Chapter 148, Do Not Take a Dependency on Elon Musk: Chapter 149, What is Elon’s Tesla Strategy?
Antitrust Incoherence: China and the US Policy Becoming Indistinguishable
Antitrust at this point is just a fig leaf for the exercise of raw power.
Previous:
Antitrust Incoherence: Elon Musk Edition, Antitrust Incoherence: The Google Ruling, Antitrust Incoherence: Entertaining If Nothing Else, From Hipster Antitrust to Grifter Antitrust, Antitrust Incoherence: Hipster Antitrust Incoherence, A New Antitrust Doctrine, Antitrust Incoherence: Don’t Make Me Complain to the Authorities About a Deal I Signed but Want to Renegotiate, Pedal to the Meta: Hipster Antitrust’s Day in Court, Antitrust Incoherence: iRobot Elegy Edition, Antitrust Incoherence: Existential Amazon Questions Edition, Antitrust Incoherence:Dodging DOGE Edition, Antitrust Incoherence: The Emerging Trump Doctrine?, Antitrust Incoherence: The Consistently Incoherent Lina Khan, Antitrust Incoherence: New Administration, Continuity of Incoherence, Antitrust Incoherence: Google Breakup Rumors, Antitrust Incoherence: Breaking Up Google #monopolist, Antitrust Incoherence: Google Verdict,Antitrust Incoherence: Competitive Harassment Edition, Antitrust Incoherence: Don’t Forget Microsoft, Antitrust Incoherence: Isn’t Market Division Illegal?, Antitrust Incoherence: Roomba Aftermath Edition, Antitrust Incoherence: Apple Edition, Antitrust Incoherence: Spotify Edition, Antitrust Incoherence: Roomba Edition, The Incoherence Doctrine: The FTC Strikes Again, The DOJ Play at Home Game
Not Available in Europe: Data
Previous:
Not Available in Europe: AirPod Live Translations Edition, Not Available in Europe: Email Archives, Not Available in Europe: A Tech Champion, Not Available in Europe: Meta AI, Not Available in Europe: Spinal Fortitude, Not Available in Europe: Air Conditioning, Not Available in Europe: Working Through the Not Available in Europe Backlog Edition, Not Available in Europe: WhatsApp Edition, Not Available in Europe: ChatGPT Memory Edition, Not Available in Europe: Bird Flies, Not Available in Europe: Open AI Deep Research, Not Available in Europe: A Bubbly Economy, Not Available in Europe: Better Late Than Never Apple Edition, Not Available in Europe: Apple’s Math, Not Available in Europe: This Week’s Edition, Not Available in Europe: Coming Soon to a Continent Near You, Not Available in Europe: Don’t Say You Weren’t Warned (by Meta), Not Available in Europe: A Tipping Point?, Not Available in Europe: Stratechery Edition, Not Available in Europe: Apple Edition, Not Available in Europe: Meta Edition
Salesforce “is not a company in crisis”
As someone said:
The Agentic Abyss of Disillusionment will be “brought to you by Salesforce”.
Oh, to be a fly on the wall in the meeting at Amway Salesforce where Benioff demands solutions to the crisis they’re not having. The focus inevitably will turn to Dreamforce (because talking about product development is beyond contemplation). Somehow having both Metallica and will.i.am already on the agenda is not enough. What other booking agents could solve Salesforce’s agentic AI crisis?
Previous:
You Can’t Spell Metallica Without A and I, Benioff’s Blizzard of Bluster: FOOM Edition, Salesforce is (Still) Not a Technology Company, Salesforce Holds “Developer” Conference, Salesforce is Not a Technology Company: Nor an AI Company, 2025 Will Not be the Year of Agentic AI, The Agentic Abyss of Disillusionment, Salesforce is Not a Technology Company: Nor a Dogfood Company, What’s Bugging Marc Benioff – Continued, Benioff’s Blizzard of Bluster, Salesforce + Indian Mystic + AI = ???, “There’s an art to this kind of horseshit, and Benioff is its Michelangelo”, Bluster, Bombast and Bullshit: Just Another Day at Salesforce, Salesforce’s Shamelessness is Staggering, Salesforce Gonna Salesforce, The Spectacle that is Dreamforce
Salesforce Announces Forceforce “Missionforce”
Salesforce announced the creation of a new business unit called Missionforce that will sell AI services to U.S. military customers, and we can’t wait to see which furry mascot gets selected for the new division.
Thanks to Tom at Runtime for asking the most important Amway Salesforce question: what does this mean for the company’s stable of furry mascots?
Private Equity in Action: The Great Garage Door Service Wars
It isn’t (yet) as high profile as the Cola Wars or the Browser Wars, but here’s another data point that private equity has too much money and too few opportunities. But PE practitioners should keep telling themselves they’re masters of universe (or at least the garage).
Previous:
Perfidious Private Equity, Private Equity in Action: Unlocking “AI Database Company” Value, Private Equity in Action: CareerBuilder + Monster, Private Equity in Action: Having to Show Their Math is New Experience, Private Equity in Action: Underperforming, Private Equity in Action: Trying to Eat the World, Private Equity in Action: Fast Casual Restaurant Edition, Private Equity in Action: WP Engine, Perfidious Private Equity, Private Equity in Action: Thrasio, Private Equity in Action: “How PE Keeps Planes in the Air”, Private Equity in Action: OtterTune,Private Equity in Action: PluralSight, Software Migration Alerts, Private Equity Will Buy and Ruin More Software Companies
