A system of government closely related to both kakistocracy (the rule of the least competent) and kleptocracy (the rule of thieves), khakiocracy is the rule of venture capitalists, our Silicon Valley saviors.
Self-appointed, self-assured and self-interested, these khaki-clad bros always have the answer, no matter how complex, novel, or unusual the situation. They can master any policy issue in the time it takes to draft a tweet. (The true VC technologists stay away from the Beltway).
A few attributes of the khakiocracy:
In the khakiocracy, our new overlords aren’t even government employees. They’re bringing the board observer role to DC: getting a seat at the table without the work or the accountability.
The essence of the khakiocracy is a steadfast commitment to “public service”. Because those shitcoin bags aren’t going to unload themselves.
In the khakiocracy, Silicon Valley replaces Veep atop the streaming charts.
The official motto of the khakiocracy is “no conflict, no interest”, as crony capitalism eats the world. The devil now wears Patagonia.
In the khakiocracy, campaign donors turned policy makers sidestep the ethics code and mandatory disclosures the same way they duck questions about their poor fund returns and shady Russian investors.
The lawyers, accountants and hustlers of the khakiocracy hail one another as “brilliant technologists”. They might even believe that (and the political class doesn’t know any better).
In the khakiocracy, protecting a donor’s equity position in a company controlled by a foreign adversary takes precedence over a law passed by Congress with overwhelming bipartisan support, signed by the President, and unanimously upheld by the Supreme Court.
American Dynamism is a thematic rallying cry of the khakiocracy. As long as it doesn’t adversely impact portfolio values or get in the way of building and selling EVs in China.
In the khakiocracy, anything is permissible in the name of fiduciary responsibility. Including treason.
The khakiocracy ushers in a new antitrust doctrine. Hipster antitrust is out. Anything that maximizes IRR is in. Little Tech is favored (except when they need an exit to Big Tech).
In the khakiocracy, years of practice quickly skimming the board package during the meeting makes it easy to assess and recommend cuts to the $6.75 trillion dollar Federal government budget.
K Street relocates to Sand Hill Road in the khakiocracy.
In the khakiocracy we will learn whether the full might of the United States Government can transform generative AI from a sustaining innovation into a disruptive innovation. Because a generation of venture capitalists sorely need returns.
Evidently the swamp is broken and thank goodness the khakiocracy is here to reimagine it.
In the khakiocracy, Ronald Reagan’s nine most terrifying words in the English language become the four words startup founders dread: “How can I help?”
For better or worse, today is probably the khakiocracy’s high-water mark. Politics rarely plays out as promised. We’ll be monitoring khakiocrat cadres closely for J-Curve analogies to explain delays in the arrival of the governmental singularity.
